Thursday, September 4, 2008

Taking Advice from Ricky Martin and Shakin' My Bon Bon

I wish I could blame it all on this little heifer . . .
but I can't, because I ate the whole darn thing myself -- in one sitting.
Thusly, I've decided that I'm just going to go for it. I'm going to be fat. I'm going to be jolly. I'm going to shout "NO" to hunger and shout "YES" to cravings. I'm going to feed my inner beast as much as I darn well please. And now you're probably asking, "but Kelly Jelly Belly, what is your plan? How will you regain svelte? How will you achieve angular?" For the added pounds, I'm planning on Baby Ultimette being born very hungry. I plan on breastfeeding her every hour after her birth until she is 18-months old. I plan on laughing a lot after she's born in order to tone up my abs and back. And then, because I'm pretty much lactose intolerant in my non-pregnant state, I plan on going vegan again. And, if we win the lottery then I will work-out and get liposuction. This is, of course, my current plan but in my book club we are reading Skinny Bitch and by all accounts everyone who has read it has drastically changed some aspects of their dietary habits so I may start feeling guilty and panicky soon and reverse my eat-my-way-to-jovialness plan. Ah me.

3 comments:

Debra (a/k/a Doris, Mimi) said...

If you win the lottery, can you request a two-for-one rate on lipo? I would greatly appeciate it! Also, can you buy ice cream by the case?? Just wonderin...

Mama/Baby-Catcher/KellyJellyBelly/KJB/Wifey said...

Yes!!! If I win the lottery we can totally do a two-fer, recover in a swanky Beverly Hills hotel and sip Mai Tais. K? Oh, as for ice cream by the case, if Costco can do it why can't I?

Jamie Payne said...

OMG! I absolutely love the cheesequake blizzards at DQ. I had no idea that Ben & Jerry's made a strawberry cheese cake flavor. I'm in big trouble now. I normally avoid that isle at the grocery store but I see myself making a pit stop tonight. Yum! I'm hoping if I say in some sort of excercise routine throughout my pregnancy, I'll lose weight easier after the baby comes. I'm sure that's just wishful thinking:)