Saturday, December 13, 2008

Ask and ye shall __________ (hear about my children)

There have been a number of inquiries about how the non-Tova puddins are adjuting to Tova. Things are great, really, but read on for details if you're curious.

Petra - She is tolerating Soren and Annike's fervor for Baby T by the thinnest of margins. She generally has a very watchful eye, or ear, on them and is quick to point out their errors. She is very accepting of Tova and even seems to like her a little bit -- some of you may recall that this time last year Petra begged me to get an IUD (she saw the ads in Parents magazine and figured it out) because she felt we needed a "bweak." When Tova is brought around Petra's friends then Petra tends to lavish attention on her and gets pretty anxious and protective. Petra lays out Tova's clothes every night and she picks out Tova's jammies. Petra is all business about the amount of time that Tova spends breastfeeding, almost seems like she's got all the AAP data in her brain and can do the next public service announcement on the merits of breastfeeding. This week she fell a bit behind in schoolwork because Lars and I just couldn't pull it together enough to help her with her spelling or her language arts assignment. That kind of stuff really rankles her but I think she's forgiven us by now because we placated her by renting WALL.E last night and making the beginnings of a gingerbread house tonight.

Soren - Oh boy! Where to begin. Soren's adoration and passion for Tova is magnanimously kinetic, huge and energetic but nerve wracking to those around him. Soren's passion for Tova culminates in incessant and not-so-gentle pokes to her cheeks, eyes, forehead, fontanels, ears, nose, mouth, lips, belly button, bottom, and feet. He pokes her so often that as soon as she hears his voice, even at 40-feet away, she starts blinking her eyelids in a very twitchy fashion. No amount of gentle reminders or all out screaming at him seems to quell his poking sensibilities. It drives me nuts. When I see him walking towards her, usually with his pointer fingers on both hands extended, tension builds in me and growls emerge from my throat. Soren, in his poking zone, is nearly impossible to divert. This evening I tried the positive parenting approach and praised him for handling her carefully today while he was holding her and then suggested that tomorrow he may even find that he is able to poke her less (you know as opposed to saying "don't" or "no", instead the parent simply suggests less of something - - maybe he'll fall for that crap). There is no doubt that he loves her and appreciates her, his poking is just a physical expression of his complete adoration for her and curiosity about her. He loves to watch her breastfeed and he loves to push her in her baby swing (manual pushing of the baby swing is expressly contrary to the warning signs that are posted in 5-different languages right on the swing). He's been a champ about sharing a room with her, though, it is doubtful to me that she'll be sleeping in that room before she's 12-months old. He's enjoying a chapter book that he's been reading with Daddy. He has been doing very well with reading to Lars or me every night for at least 15-minutes. He's still usually the first one in bed every night and always is up at the crack of dawn where we usually find him yapping to us at our bedside about elves or weed whackers or "where is Tova? Can I hold her? I didn't get a long turn last night."

Annike - Our big little baby is also insatiable when it comes to Tova. She loves to hold her and asks for permission to take her several times an hour. When she's not holding her then she's gently stroking Tova's face, leaving a finger or two to linger in Tova's eyeball or up Tova's nose. Annike is also constantly slurping on Tova's face to the point that Tova's cheeks and forehead smell like dried up spit. If Annike has felt a sting of no longer being the littlest baby of the family then she certainly hasn't acted out or created any problems as a result. Having said that, she's voiced reluctance to attending preschool in the morning and has been having tough drop-offs. Her teachers have reported a couple of occasions during the past 2-weeks where Annike has been tearful during the day and has asked for me. Of course, this breaks my hearts and makes me feel terrible, especially difficult is that fact that her teachers didn't call us to tell us Annike was unhappy. I would have made Lars drive me to the school right away to go retrieve her, I suppose that is why they didn't call us. School is still a positive place for her, though. For example, out of the blue this evening she started telling us all about the planets. She said that there used to be 8 but now there are 9 (I think she got that one mixed up, but it's close enough). She told us that "Zhewputter ith the biggest because it hads a big dot on it and because it has-ded wots of mooooooons." Lars thought she was talking about Saturn, but she set him straight. Annike still feels like my little baby except that her head has seemed to grow to bobble head proportions. I told her that her brain must be growing, she's been telling anyone who will listen that she is "a big girl now because my bwain is sooo badly bigger now." Very proud of her big brain, very proud. Plus, the big brain thing got us over the disappointment of not getting a bra at the age of 3-years old.

Maggie - Our little Magdalena has been following me around the house like a little, ummm, dog ever since I got home. She looks up at me with mournful eyes, like she's trying to communicate with me about something I've forgotten. Since her initial greeting to Tova she has ignored her ever since. When she's not staring at me then she's trying to scrounge up food out of the cupboards or garbage, sleeping in her chair or with us in our bed. We've noticed she's been limping a bit due to stiffness after a long nap or night in bed. It's kind of sad to see our doggy baby struggle, though, generally she has the disposition of a very happy puppy.

Lars - My husband has been taking care of most of Tova's non-feeding needs. He's also been a saint about bringing me drinks and burp cloths and nursing pads and pain medication and other very nice gestures. He's enjoying his paternity leave very much and spends most of his time on the computer going between his Facebook account and his two email accounts. Lars has also been spending a lot of time working on Tova's birthday announcements and our festivus cards, which are originals made by him . . . something for many of you to look forward to next week when they arrive in the mail! He hasn't been spending much time cooking lately because our friends and neighbors are still bringing us dinner just about every night. They've been bringing over so much food that even on the nights when nobody has brought us anything there are many left-overs to be reheated and managed. There are dust bunnies all over the house and our kitchen counters are cluttered with oranges from our fruit trees and dirty dishes and mail. I try to ignore it since I'm not really up to that much activity yet. I try to help him out by going through paperwork and mail, cleaning the desk, sorting the laundry and putting it away, or giving Lars verbal instructions about how he should manage his time but after that I'm generally done for the day. He's been attending my follow-up OB visits with me, but I think that's mostly because my Mr Doctor OB addresses him as "Lars (insert last name here), the strongest man in the world." He always leaves that place smiling. He encourages me to take long naps during the day so that he can watch basketball games and do endless Facebook games with joyful abandon without hearing me admonish him from my rocking chair, "could you puhlease get off of that computer, for Crissake ya donkey!" We've been laughing a lot and scheming of ways to win the lottery so that we can dig our friends and family members out of any drama that is afflicting them. So, I guess if one day a bunch of money gets put in your child's college savings plan or you can suddenly retire then you'll have us to thank . . . it's gonna happen, I can feel it in my bones.

4 comments:

Debra (a/k/a Doris, Mimi) said...

So happy to hear that everyone is adjusting to the latest addition to the family. Tova is a beautiful baby - all pink, squishy, and sweet. I can relate to Maggie's stiffness. It takes a while for my joints to function after sitting or sleeping. Getting older sucks big time. Good luck winning the lottery. I'd love to tell my boss to take my job and shove it.

Mommela said...

Thank you. BabyGirl was glad to hear you haven't forgotten your first children because, as she points out to me, "the kids who are already there always get ignored when a new baby shows up." [insert eye rolling from a 7-year old].

Can't wait to see you!

Jamie Payne said...

So glad to hear that the older kids are doing well with baby Tova. We have the same poking problem with Jameson but luckily Ava sleeps alot so she's spared most of the day. It must be so nice to have Lars home with you during the day! Jason has been working on small assignments in the area so that he's home for his family in the evenings. It's been fantastic having him home more often. I miss you Kelly Belly!

sarah b said...

I was talking about your blog post to Chad and mentioned Petra and Soren. Milo immediately chimed in, "Annike." So, I asked him what the new baby's name is and he said "Tova." I think he's ready to meet his new cousin.