Thursday, November 11, 2010

God Bless the Wild Beasts

I went outside to take some snap shots of our bountiful garden but Maggie followed me out and ended up distracting me with her smooshy face. Poor hiefer got her lip stuck up in her cheek. When I pointed it out to her, she got all sensitive on me. Too late for sensitivity. Lordy, I have a stomach ache from laughing at this hairy pooch.

She's a lot like Tova: doesn't speak much English and smells a little funny.

Despite the language barrier, though, you gotta help a sister out when her face gets lopsided. It's kind of like not telling a perfect stranger that she has a piece of broccoli stuck in her two-front teeth. It's the right thing to do.

This one, though . . . sheesh, this one huffy breathed at me and then acted like she had some other business to attend to. Somehow Surfin' DJ next door is, you know, just so very meaningful for a Bassett Hound with collagen deficiencies to monitor.


She tried to ignore my guffaws. She tried, but I was really rolling on the ground by now because a Bassett Hound is just one of those types of creatures that once you start laughing about 'em you can't even bring yourself to stop. Even now I have a little chuckle in me, ooh owww my abs.


Her lip had almost completely plopped out of her mouth, but she still wouldn't give me any eye contact. She was rankled. A wrinkled and rankled stubby legged cow of a dog.


Back to the lip tuck trick. Do you think she does in on purpose?

And then suddenly, she flopped to the ground (2-inches below her floppy belly).

Turns out she was just trying to work in her daily exercise. Treadmill is in the shop, don't ya know.


Pilates, mostly she does pilates.

This is one of her favorite yoga poses, though, it's called Side Down Dog.


It's a good thing she stays in such good shape. She has her work cut out for her, all that protecting of eggless chickens from nightly raids by coyotes.


This is her ab workout. I believe she calls this one Upward Facing Dog with Toe Touch, the toe touch is for added difficulty -- of course. Maggie LOVES to feel the burn.


Don't let your eyes betray you, this nose to the ground maneuver quite honestly requires years of training and dedication.


Post work-out C-Shaped Stretch.


Then snap up to four paws to do the final Shake Off.


It's imperative to engage the ears and lips in a bidirectional trajectory, otherwise the work-out is pointless.


And lastly, stare regally off into the distance with your lip untucked and your muscles bulging. That, my friends, is how you dissuade mockery and laughter while gaining respect of mammals everywhere.


PS - Her 10th birthday is 12/07/2010; send bones, bricks of unsalted butter (she's watching her blood pressure), organic crunchy peanut butter, fluffy pillows, and loaves of freshly baked bread.

1 comment:

Mommela said...

Oh Maggie! How we miss you, too!