Have You Ever?

Have you ever tried to get four of your own children to friggin' cooperate for one puny little picture?

With all the changes going on around here with the kids having their birthdays and teeth pulled and hair growing and sitting up, and the like, I felt that a cute picture of them was due to commemorate all their advancements.

Seems like I was the only one on board.

Didn't start out well when Maggie fled the scene before I even took the first picture.

Take One: Petra and Annike as my two bookends looking cute, but Soren looked like he had just spent that last few days in a Soviet bread line whilst Tova was apparently getting her guts squeezed outta her eyeballs.

Take Two: 3 for 4, but I wouldn't be smiling either if old Mr Pokey Cheeks had my face in a vice grip.

Take Three: Soren (I'm yelling), for crap's sake, leggo uvver cheeks!

Take Four: Petra is hissing at Soren through her clenched, smiley teeth (always one to follow the 'structions, ya know) to let go of Tova's face all the while it's all going down hill for Annike.

Take Five: Yeah, we lost Annike about 7-frames ago.

Take Six: But see now, I musta had the sense that I was getting there because I couldn't stop snapping away, screeching at them all to smile like pretty people.

Take Seven: At this point, Annike began praying to the Baby Jesus asking about what she could have possibly done to deserve this.

Take Eight: Almost! You know, except for the perma-smile on Petra's face.

Take Nine: And then Soren started with the, er, 'bathroom noises' which worked for Annike, got Tova looking down at her dipey and got Petra near an emotional cliff.

Take Ten: I tried switching them around, see if that could get 'em good and perfect, but the writing was on the wall and I just weren't readin' it.

Take Eleven: If I could just get Annike . . .

Take Twelve: to cooperate . . .

Take Thirteen: then all I would have to do is get Soren to be perfect . . .

Take Fourteen: and then I could submit it to Baby Gap for their next perfectly, cute kid catalog.

Take Fifteen: So, anyway, I know yer all dying to get yer hands on one of the delights, I'm charging $73.99 for copies -- send the money then I'll send you the print.