Panama, Erie, Root: One of These Things is Not Like the Other

Twas two days before Christmas, when hour after hour
Kelly did moan and groan with teeth that felt sour
It was quite difficult to sort it all out while working at . . . work
But man! Holy cow! It hurt even to smirk!
The evening came, and to my home I did rush
But the traffic it certainly proved to be too much.
Too late to call a professional asking for an appointment at least
So instead of relief, there was a dinner party and Christmas feast
Alack and alas, dinner I could not tolerate
My Santa Fe Salad just sat on my plate
With grimace and agony, I grabbed at my left jaw
And ordered a drink from the first waitress I saw
Home again, home again, jiggity jog
But thanks to Irish Rootbeer I was in a fog
By the next morn, much throbbing ensued
And to my dental benefits my eyes did perused
I called all the dentists on my in-network plan
I would go to the dentist (thanks to insurance Mr Obama Yes I Can!)
But as it was nearly Christmas all my calls were ignored
As it turns out, even Muslims and Jews could not be implored
Not a phone call answered and the pain getting worse
I was beginning to think it was some kind of curse
"What should I do?" I cried out in distress
As the moments ticked by, I became more of a mess.
With guilt in my heart, to the kids dentist I texted
And it my brief note, the panic she detected

"I'll look in your mouth, we'll give it a whirl.
But I'm at the movies, with Arianna, my girl.
After the credits, at my office around two.
I will try to help and see what I can do."

And so in that pediatric dentistry chair
I lay in discomfort, nearly pulling out my hair.
Tap-tap here, and a whip-whap there
A dental exam and an x-ray to spare

My worst fears were confirmed by Dr Houri that day
An infection needing root canal and probably decay
My head hanging low and just filled with shame
Poor attention to my teeth, I am to blame!
Can I help it if I 'Mrs Natural Childbirth'
Am afraid of the dentist for all that it's worth?
I'm afraid of the poking, the prodding, the anti-fun
And so for two years the check-ups weren't done
And now here I am, on Christmas indeed
With antibiotics, pain killers and fears not relieved
I'll be a big girl, on Monday you'll see
I'll make my appointment for endodontistry

The End